how to tell her?
by Sam.L.Murray
Summary: the doctor wants rose to know how he feels? can he do it? could be a k i feel, but i don't want to be accused of under rating it! plus it probably really is teenage and over stuff


Disclaimer: i own NOTHING in this story, i might wish i do, but they all belong to they're creators, i just borrowed them. you cxan have them back now :-)

the doctor wants rose to know his feelings, but he just doesn't know how to tell her. This is my first fanfic, so please be nice, all criticisms welcome, i want to get better.

* * *

He looked across the control room, and as ever, she was there, as he studied her face, she looked up and smiled, a smile that sent the doctors heart fluttering, a smile that he just couldn't help smile back too.

"What is it with me?" He thought. He'd been travelling with her for months now, he talked to her about almost anything and everything, and yet he couldn't tell her the one thing that he desperately wanted too. It was ridiculous, here he was, a man who had travelled throughout time and space, saying the utmost idiotic things half the time, usually ending up in him getting chased, and yet he couldn't tell a human girl how he felt about her.

"Then again" he thought to himself "I'm scared of the human woman they call Jackie Tyler when I opposed the Darlecs, so it's not all that surprising really, is it?"

"You all right doctor?" piped up rose's voice

"Yes I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" he hastily snapped back, without actually meaning too, he'd been so deep in thought she'd made him jump

"Sorry I spoke!" he could hear the slight hurt in her voice, she wasn't really all that bothered, she knew she'd caught him off guard, but for the doctor even the slightest amount of pain in her voice made him feel like he would fight to the death to stop it, so if he caused it he felt like he could die there and then.

"Rose… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap… its just…" she looked at him quizzically,

"I know doctor, it was my fault really I should never have made you jump…"

"You were just asking how I was and I bit your head off, I shouldn't have!"

"Hey don't get so emotional! I know!" she was looking at him like he'd gone slightly crazy, why couldn't he just tell her, WHY? But every time he went over how he might do it in his head he always ended up making an idiot of himself and have Rose reject him, or laugh at him.

"Doctor, I've been thinking, we can't decide where to go right yet, and well I think its about time I went home and we pay mum a visit don't you?" at the words of "we" "mum" and "visit" his head shot up, eyes wide,

"Y…your MUM?" she nodded her head, a smile playing on her lips, the doctor couldn't help but notice how soft and inviting they looked. He quickly shook his head and stared at the tardis floor for a minute or so, he HAD to stop thoughts like that, and they did nothing to help his situation.

"Well, yeah? Why? Not still scared of her are you? I thought you'd have got over that by now. Oh c'mon Doctor please!" how could he refuse her, he couldn't refuse her anything, she had him tied round her little finger, and he knew it, but he didn't care.

"Fine, you win, we'll go see your mum" he grinned back at her

* * *

The door swung open and rose was gathered unceremoniously into her mother's arms,

"About time too love!" she pulled back at arms length to survey her daughter with a wide smile, it was then that she caught sight of the doctor and a look of disdain crossed over her face, "Haven't left her to pine yet then doctor? Well I suppose you two had better come in." and with that she ushered them into the living room and sat them down while she busied herself in the kitchen. Unusually the doctor hadn't uttered a sound, he had just come in, looked around and sat himself down on her worn couch, he hadn't even said anything when rose went into the kitchen to help her mum with the tea. As Rose walked into the kitchen, her mothers hushed voice, so the doctor wouldn't hear, filled her ears,

"Look Rose, I'm going to be straight with you, COME HOME, he's only going to break your heart!"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh Rose, don't play the idiot with me! I've seen the way you look at him, don't kid yourself darling, he's just going to dump you back on earth one of these days and that will be that, and who's going to be left to pick up the pieces? ME! That's who." And with that she marched back into the living room, cup in hand, leaving Rose in the kitchen, thinking. The first thought running through her head was, was her mum being selfish but that thought was quickly cancelled by the fact that her mum cared what happened to her, she was her only child. And then the doubt crept in, was she right? Would the doctor just leave her, drop her back on earth like none of it ever happened? She didn't know, but nor did she care, she loved the doctor, and she would travel with him for as long as possible, she couldn't give him up until she was made too, it didn't matter how much doubt was in her mind whether he would just dump her back on earth, she couldn't stop travelling with him while it was still her decision, and with that she followed her mum out the kitchen, handed the doctor her tea, plonked her bum down next to him and started an animated conversation about her travels.

* * *

As Rose struggled putting a pillow in a pillowcase the doctor looked at her thoughtfully, something was troubling her.

"Rose…" he said gently " is something wrong?" she turned to look at him then looked back at the floor,

"No, I'm perfectly fine doctor"

"Rose…" she turned to look back at him, he cocked his head on one side and looked straight into her eyes. She sighed, she couldn't lie to him, and he genuinely was concerned for her.

"Well, yes…" he was by her side instantaneously a hand on her shoulder, she raised her gaze to look at his face and he signalled for her to carry on, "Doctor, please tell me the truth, are you… are you just going to dump me back here when your tired of me?" he looked at her open mouthed, the question stung deeply, he would never, could never, do that to her.

"Rose, we've been over this before! I would NEVER do that to you?" he had gripped both her shoulders and looked her straight in the eye as he said this, he needed her to understand, and the he added more softly, "you mean far too much to me Rose, since the very moment I met you, you've been special to me!" he was telling the truth, even an idiot could tell that, it broke her heart that she couldn't kiss him right there and then. At the same time he felt the exact same thing, how he longed to kiss her, to hold her, and never let go. And then Rose began to cry. He was puzzled? What could he possibly have said to upset her? He moved his hands to either side of her face, provoking even more tears to spill from her eyes. "Rose what did I say? Why are you crying? Tell me"

"I can't… lie to you… anymore… doctor!" she said in between sobs, "I can't carry on like this!" he was confused? What could she possibly have been lying to him about to upset her this much? "I… I… love you doctor, but we can never be more than just friends… c… can we… because you d…don't feel the same" as she had slowly been gaining control over her emotions he last words caused her to sob more violently than before, he gathered her into his arms and held her tight. I the last few seconds his hearts had gone from being knotted in hurt at her crying to jumping around insanely with joy. She loved him, she loved _him!_

"Rose your wrong…" he could finally tell her, all those stupid scenarios that had ended in failure in his head had no relevance what so ever anymore because she LOVED him. She pulled away from his comforting hug and looked up at him, confused and puzzled,

"What?"

"Rose your wrong, because, because I love you too…" it took a moment for her to register what he had said, because he had said it so gently and it was such a shock. While it was still clicking over in her head he leaned in to do what he had been longing to do for so long.

He met her lips with the soft embrace of his own, she quickly deepened the kiss and brought her hands to his head combing her fingers into his soft brown hair, he tightened his grip on her waist, neither of them wanted this moment to end, for it too last forever, they knew it couldn't, but that didn't stop them for enjoying it for as long as they could. The half made camp bed in the corner of Rose's room forgotten, they wouldn't be needing it anymore anyway, one bed was quite sufficient. They were in heaven.

* * *

please tell me what you think? my first fanfic, so don't be too harsh lol


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